Prepare to Cry

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man...

Tue, 01 May 2012 07:41:02 -0400

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ~Mark Twain

The difference is that a Dark Soul’s player expects to die at any time.

Tonight Only, watch the showdown of the decade! In one corner we...

Tue, 01 May 2012 07:37:01 -0400

Tonight Only, watch the showdown of the decade! In one corner we have the bloody behemoth, The Cool Aid Man. And his opponent, you know him, you love him, The Outstanding, RED ONION! Tune in for a match, unparalleled in scope and excitement!

Giant Blacksmith: ‘clink’ ‘clink’...

Tue, 01 May 2012 07:09:04 -0400

Giant Blacksmith: ‘clink’ ‘clink’ ‘clink ‘clinkclinkclink’

Ornstein: Ummmmmm….

Giant Blacksmith: ‘clink’ ‘clink’ ‘clink’ ‘clinkclinkclink’

Ornstein:….carry on.

NEVER AGAIN! Stab all the chests just to be sure.

Tue, 01 May 2012 07:03:54 -0400

NEVER AGAIN! Stab all the chests just to be sure.

See what happens when you make fun of people’s head....

Tue, 01 May 2012 07:00:53 -0400

See what happens when you make fun of people’s head. Respect mushroom man, respect.

Andrei prepares the face palm.

Tue, 01 May 2012 06:57:44 -0400

Andrei prepares the face palm.

And this is the reason why I didn’t choose pyromancy....

Tue, 01 May 2012 06:49:46 -0400

And this is the reason why I didn’t choose pyromancy. Hmmmmmmm… smells like bacon.

It can’t be that hard right?…..Right?

Tue, 01 May 2012 06:36:37 -0400

It can’t be that hard right?…..Right?

Undead, there’s no need to feel downI said undead, pick...

Tue, 01 May 2012 06:15:00 -0400

Undead, there’s no need to feel down
I said undead, pick yourself off the ground
I said undead, ‘cause your in a new town
There’s no need to be unhappy

Undead, there’s a place you can go
I said undead, when you’re short on your souls
You can stay there and I’m sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time

It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A
They have everything for undead to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys

Praise the Sun! The rarest thing you’ll see in the game.

Tue, 01 May 2012 06:10:39 -0400

Praise the Sun! The rarest thing you’ll see in the game.

Well, at least I almost got through the door this time.

Tue, 01 May 2012 06:09:00 -0400

Well, at least I almost got through the door this time.

What? No love for Bloody Mary? I mean come on, Bloody Mary is...

Tue, 01 May 2012 06:04:54 -0400

What? No love for Bloody Mary? I mean come on, Bloody Mary is the legend that started it all. Without Bloody Mary, I doubt those two would have that gimmick and another thing-AH! Ghost!

Can this Onion return to the tutorial?

Tue, 01 May 2012 03:52:06 -0400

Can this Onion return to the tutorial?

I didn’t mean to attack the merchant! No one told me I...

Tue, 01 May 2012 03:47:24 -0400

I didn’t mean to attack the merchant! No one told me I couldn’t enter the menu when the npc was speaking. Oh lovely, it’s a Blade of the Dark Moon. How much was it to be absolved of my sins? 20,000 souls times my level…. well cabbage patch. ‘skreetch!’ “OH GOD MY SPINE!”

I took one wrong turn and WHAM! Diced Onion for a Capra Demon...

Tue, 01 May 2012 03:40:36 -0400

I took one wrong turn and WHAM! Diced Onion for a Capra Demon special.

Because even The Red Onion needs hobbies outside Dark Souls and...

Tue, 01 May 2012 02:58:20 -0400

Because even The Red Onion needs hobbies outside Dark Souls and this is in no way a lazy excuse/segue into other topics.

The mighty one’s layers are enriched by his many trials...

Tue, 01 May 2012 02:27:17 -0400

The mighty one’s layers are enriched by his many trials and deaths, but mostly the deaths.

I guess they didn’t read the back of the box.

Tue, 01 May 2012 02:08:20 -0400

I guess they didn’t read the back of the box.

Oh, hi Taurus Demon!

Tue, 01 May 2012 02:06:44 -0400

Oh, hi Taurus Demon!

The Moss, It Does NOTHING!

Tue, 01 May 2012 02:03:48 -0400

The Moss, It Does NOTHING!